I have two obsessive habits. Labeling people and peeling labels off of bottles.
Yes, I label people. When I do so the label covers their mouth. It sticks and is difficult to git rid of it. The same label covers their soul. My first impressions of people seem to morph into outlandish ideas. The label is what I see and tend to. The person dehumanizes little by little. Think of the label as a bit of butter. Its placed on the hot toast. I see it and it is visible and obvious. Then it begins to diminish into the pours of the toast until it blends in. My label disappears visually but permeates their being. I know it is there and am unable to engage without the label making notice. These premature ideas become my characteristics of a person.
Yes, I label people. When I do so the label covers their mouth. It sticks and is difficult to git rid of it. The same label covers their soul. My first impressions of people seem to morph into outlandish ideas. The label is what I see and tend to. The person dehumanizes little by little. Think of the label as a bit of butter. Its placed on the hot toast. I see it and it is visible and obvious. Then it begins to diminish into the pours of the toast until it blends in. My label disappears visually but permeates their being. I know it is there and am unable to engage without the label making notice. These premature ideas become my characteristics of a person.
I am not capable of drawing a conclusion about others but I take the liberty of doing so. I cannot analyze their being, their actions, what they prefer and their dislikes. To be able to define who they are, or why or why not I am able to like them and share moments of life with them are all just a personal game. A grand illusion that I fall into and live.
So why do I always believe and live in this illusion?
Am I able exterminate my tendency to label someone?
Am I able exterminate my tendency to label someone?
Is it our way of getting to know someone?
Maybe it is a challenge one puts up to see if the person is willing to defy the label/challenge and demonstrate who they really are. Through observation I have drawn a conclusion that exposes the paradox found in labeling others. I become very unsettled and anxious when being labeled. Furthermore, I tend to spend a lot of my time trying to avoid it and challenge the labels. I accept some because they make me feel good and proud but also try to defy them at the same time so people are not able to pin me down. There is a lightness and a darkness to labels. The former is that its sweet and endearing when someone really gets you and both individuals feel closer. The latter is when the labels expose characteristics that you find difficult to accept or even despise. This is why I peel labels off bottles. The habit marks my desire to not see others with labels covering their souls. I believe the soul is free of label.
Hey Paul, I know I'm not a regular contributor to your blog commentary, but I saw your post on FB and thought, well, the subject is one with which I've personally dealt for quite some time. Why not share my thoughts? I'll have to break it into two posts because it's long. I apologize for the length especially if it bores you.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you're obviously looking at the label game in a negative light, and at one time I shared the same view. But after some reflection that view kind of changed. Maybe changed is the wrong word. My view of the label broadened, to be precise. The way I see it labels are an indispensable tool in our cognitive workshop. They're essentially categories, and by categorizing things-be they people, types of music, foods, cars-we make some sense out of our surroundings. Literally we come to terms with reality. Whenever a category is mentioned or when we meet a person who apparently falls neatly into a category a group of accepted generalizations pertaining to that particular category comes to mind. This is especially true when we're talking about human labels, or anthropological classifications academically speaking. The category "punk", in the cultural sense, brings to mind ideas about punk style, punk music, punk behavior, and the attendant value judgments: punk is bad or punk is good, to put it simply. If I were a punk at heart who didn't care to be labeled punk, or if I listened to punk music but didn't join the scene then I'd be bothered by this innate tendency to categorize because it's an attack on my individuality. Don't sum up my being in a single word! That's what we really mean when we say "I don't want to be labeled". We want to defend ourselves from being simplified. There's this sense that the person doing the labeling is not seeing the whole picture. The result is an uninformed opinion, be it favorable or otherwise. But like you said, it is definitely a part of getting to know someone.
Speaking of knowing someone, you know yourself better than anyone, but for what it's worth I believe that the impulse to label a person, to judge a person, generally isn't rooted in insecurity. I suppose whether or not you agree heavily depends on how you see that word "judge". If you load it with moral implications - that we invariably judge unjustly and incorrectly, therefore it's wrong; or that we judge because we're insecure with ourselves, therefore it's wrong - then it becomes tantamount to sinning, to violating a moral principle. It's as though we were doing some kind of harm to the person being judged. This view of the word is reflected in countless maxims: "never judge a book by its cover"; "looks can be deceiving"; Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged"...the list goes on and on. If we empty the word, however, of this negative connotation, and fill it with a less morally charged one-let's say "judge" in a purely judicial sense-then judging someone becomes a less disagreeable, maybe even healthy, exercise. In a court setting evidence is brought before the judge and jury and arguments are heard from both sides before a judgment is made - innocent until proven guilty. Every man, then, gets a fair hearing regardless of what place he or she occupies in society, regardless of his label(s), regardless of whether he or she is a punk, is hispanic, is an atheist, or a hispanic punk atheist. This is the principle that we should use in our daily encounters with others. Give each man a fair hearing. If you want to return to the word "judge" its moral, christian identity you need look no further than the Bible for advice on how to do so. John 7:24 "Do not judge according to appearance (insert "labels" for discussion's sake), but judge by righteous judgment." Judge as Christ would judge. Judge justly. Judge impartially. Most importantly, judge with love.
'd say don't be too hard on yourself for reaching for one or two of those labels when you first meet someone. As long as they don't degenerate into hateful stereotypes or prejudices labels aren't a bad point of departure from where one can embark on that journey of truly and deeply getting to know someone, including one's own self. The danger, rather, is that the label becomes at once the beginning and end of that journey.
ReplyDeleteThen again, how dare we even begin to judge one another when we're barely capable of judging ourselves, especially when our pride and self-assurance is at stake? Just my two cents